13 PaGeS LoNg

WhErE tHe PaGeS oF tHiS bOoK nEvEr EnD

Monday, August 27, 2012

"You can't always be the winner..."

I headed out to Utah again, the 3rd time in 4 months...only this trip was alot different from all the rest. Sending my third child out there, wow almost half of my family away from North Carolina. That got me thinking about where they may all be in a few years, then that made me sad so I quickly turned them to the present, there with my kids in Utah, getting them all settled into their new homes. Sunday was a treat, Matthew was speaking at church (tender mercy, the one sunday I am there :) He spoke of sacrifice. Great topic, he truly is a great teacher. He was so sweet he even gave his momma a shout out. I was just so happy to have been there for him. Zachary got a pretty sweet surprise when Clinton Choro, his trainer from the mission walks in. He was sooo excited! also.
Sunday evening we went to our dear friends the Buehners/walters family. They had us for dinner, delicious by the way Becky, thank you so much. And as always games! Now the Buehners are known for game night. It was alot of fun. I still have some of my NC Rm's talking about a night we met up there, soo Fun! We always love getting with them, and unfortunately it is never enough time. I need a visit to just go spend with Becky, We are due more time together. Love you Buehners!
Move in day for Abigail...thank goodness her strong brothers were there to help out, she had alot of stuff. The usual comments that boys give girls, how could you have so much stuff. Thanks Guys, could not have done it without you! They are all settled in with the stuff they had, but then I spent the next week shopping for all the rest of the stuff they still needed.
Monday was I think one of the roughest days of my life, too many emotions to write about, but I have to say that I will never be the same. It's funny how when you do things out of love for others, that they can be so missed understood. And all you can do is apologize and it still doesn't fix anything. Nothing feels worse than knowing that you have hurt someone you care so much about, and you know that things will never be the same again. I guess it is kinda like payback for what you have done. All I know is that I am different for it, not sure what that means right now, except that I am just so sorry. ( NOTE: Don't come asking me about what happened or what is wrong!) Hopefully time will be the healer. :/ Sometimes we all just have bad days right! Shopping always makes it better, right! Well actually it doesn't, so after doing some shopping at City Creek in downtown, SLC, great shopping by the way :) we walked across the street to temple square. Seeing the temple always sooths the heart. Zach's friend from Japan, Miyo, came to the states for a visit. It was so fun getting to know her. I can see why Zach has a great friend in her.
My most favorite parts of visiting Utah is gathering with my boys and their families that they are all starting to have. (North Carolina Returned Missionaries) those that we have had in our home many many times for dinners, p-days, lessons, or just visits. When you spend so many hours serving them you truly grow to love them. It's an experience that some don't ever get, and some choose to never have this experience, But not at the Pages, our home is their home, they become family (if they so choose)but to us they are all family. They bring a spirit in the home that only comes from them and by no other means. Some are only here for a few weeks, while others are here for months & months, all I know is that when it is time for them to go, it is like saying goodbye to one of my own children. Now some may say that that is weird or not appropriate or whatever. All I know is that we love them and they will always be a part of our lives, and I want them to know that. SO anytime I can gather them together, which is usually only a small part of them at a time, is a mom's blessing. I love seeing where their lives are taking them, seeing them get married having children ( really beautiful ones I might add...:) meaning wives and kids) It makes my heart smile.
Who doesn't love bowling, even if your really bad at it like me. It doesn't matter it is always fun, that is if you are with good friends :) I treated a few to a night of bowling. Derek was our winner for the night. It was alot of fun just hanging out and laughing, to me laughing was the best part. I needed to release :) I enjoyed getting to know some of Matthews friends, Alec who is now my son fun the UK, now calls me Mummy Page. And Sarah you are a good friend to those boys! :)Miyo you were so funny, getting all of those strikes! Wow! And Zachary always the competitive one, just short of passing Zamaleki's score! Oh well can't always be the winner.
My babies are all starting another semester at BYU, good luck Cougars, work hard, have fun, make memories, eat right, get some exercise, date nice people, make lasting friendships, and once in a while please call your momma!!! I love you ALL!

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